Hey everybody. This is a list of all the quotes Chris ever sent out. Just in case you remember a great quote you really liked, but can't figure out where it came from.
Quote of the Week # 1 "What good is science if nobody gets hurt?" Chrome Dome -- The Tick: The Tick vs. Science Quote of the Week # 2 "There is no Monday in the Cheese Palace!!!" Sam (Joey Slotnick) -- The Single Guy Quote of the Week # 3 "My father left my mother after she got hooked on cough drops. (sniff) By the end, her breath was so fresh, she just wasn't my mother anymore." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 4 "I think instead of living in houses we should live in teepees 'cause they're better in a lot of ways." Richie (Lukas Haas) -- Mars Attacks Quote of the Week # 5 "Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." Randal (Jeff Anderson) -- Clerks Quote of the Week # 6 "I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan." Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 2 "There is no Monday in the Cheese Palace!!!" Sam (Joey Slotnick) -- The Single Guy Quote of the Week # 3 "My father left my mother after she got hooked on cough drops. (sniff) By the end, her breath was so fresh, she just wasn't my mother anymore." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 4 "I think instead of living in houses we should live in teepees 'cause they're better in a lot of ways." Richie (Lukas Haas) -- Mars Attacks Quote of the Week # 5 "Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." Randal (Jeff Anderson) -- Clerks Quote of the Week # 6 "I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan." Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 3 "My father left my mother after she got hooked on cough drops. (sniff) By the end, her breath was so fresh, she just wasn't my mother anymore." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 4 "I think instead of living in houses we should live in teepees 'cause they're better in a lot of ways." Richie (Lukas Haas) -- Mars Attacks Quote of the Week # 5 "Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." Randal (Jeff Anderson) -- Clerks Quote of the Week # 6 "I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan." Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 4 "I think instead of living in houses we should live in teepees 'cause they're better in a lot of ways." Richie (Lukas Haas) -- Mars Attacks Quote of the Week # 5 "Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." Randal (Jeff Anderson) -- Clerks Quote of the Week # 6 "I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan." Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 5 "Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." Randal (Jeff Anderson) -- Clerks Quote of the Week # 6 "I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan." Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 6 "I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan." Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 7 "OK, search party, before we go, let's take a moment to humor the children. YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! OK, team, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies buried in this mountain somewhere." The Ranger -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 8 "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) -- Star Wars: A New Hope Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 9 "The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." Darth Vader (David Prowse and James Earl Jones) -- The Empire Strikes Back Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 10 "You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!!" Arthur -- The Tick: Little Wooden Boy in the Belly of Love Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 11 "BAHHHHH...I am awakened from my eternal slumber by a foolish monkey." The Genie of Olam -- Superfriends Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 12 "And now, young Skywalker...you will die." Emperor Palpatine -- Return of the Jedi Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 13 "Homer, there's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your homemade liquor is exploding again." Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 14 "When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." Jack Handy -- Saturday Night Live: Deep Thoughts Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 15 "Well, crying won't bring your dog back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there crying and crying and eating dogfood until your tears smell enough like dogfood or you can go out and try to find him." Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 16 "You must choose. But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you." The Knight -- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 17 "Wilycat! These spaceboards are FUN!!!" Lion-O -- Thundercats Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 18 "Your National Security Advisor has just been executed. He's a good negotiator. He just bought you another half hour." Gary Oldman -- Air Force One Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 19 "If some girl tried to kick MY ass, I'd be like, 'Hey! Why don't you stop, dressin' me up like a mailman, a-and makin' me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!'" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 20 "You broke a promise to your child. You promised Lisa to help her with her costume, you made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper!" Homer Simpson -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 21 "A gun rack? A gun rack. Sheeyeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone MANY guns that would neccessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) -- Wayne's World Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 22 Vincent: "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!!!! AND YOU GOT YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY UP IT!!!!!" Other guy: "Jesus!" Vincent: "Heh, heh, ferocious, aren't I?" Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) -- Heat Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 23 "Behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie!!" Space Ghost -- Space Ghost: Coast to Coast Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 24 "These days Satan is getting VERY popular." Ms. Junie Harper -- King of the Hill Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 25 "Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass." Brodie (Jason Lee) -- Mallrats Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 26 "Boys, time is running out. It's your last chance for...PIE!!!" Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) -- The Monster Squad Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 27 "Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and speed in the second, the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs." Mouth (Corey Feldman) -- The Goonies Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 28 "You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!!! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here." Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) -- Austin Powers Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 29 "I HATE the Drake!!!!" George Costanza (Jason Alexander) -- Seinfeld Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 30 "JoJo the Whale. As they say, you didn't walk WITH JoJo, you walked AMONG him. If you stared at JoJo long enough you would see him get fatter by the hour. Legend has it, his shadow once killed a dog." Calogeno (Lillo Brancato) -- A Bronx Tale Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 31 "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." Ralph Wiggum -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 32 "Your security isn't worth a DAMN!! Everybody's got a gun!!" The Commodore (James Coburn) -- Maverick Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 33 "A pile of shit has a THOUSAND eyes!" Teddy Duchamp (Corey Feldman) -- Stand by Me Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 34 "Damn your black heart Barbra Streisand!!" Cartman -- South Park Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 35 "Ah, man. Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must DIE!!" Lead singer of GWAR -- Empire Records Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 36 "I think you're the opposite of paranoid. You go around with the insane belief that people like you." Woody Allen -- Deconstructing Harry Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 37 "You know my father said once: 'Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give you somethin' to cry about you little bastard!!'" Mitchell Kane (Jeff Goldbum) -- The Great White Hype Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 38 "And what about seatbelts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end, and...hey, know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy'll come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, 'cuz you are a RETARD!" Richard (David Spade) -- Tommy Boy Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 39 "Torture you! That's a good idea. I like that one." Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen) -- Reservoir Dogs Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 40 "I asked my landlady how old she is and wouldn't tell me. 'That's okay,' I says...'I'll just wait until you go to sleep tonight then I'll cut you in half and count the rings.' The cops didn't think it was funny, neither." Bug-Eyed Earl -- Red Meat (by Max Cannon) Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 41 "That which does not kill us, only makes us...stranger." Trevor Goodchild -- Aeon Flux Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 42 "My trials have taken me to South America, where I competed in Brazilian train surfing, riding on the surface of moving trains while dodging on-coming cables!! Tragically, of the 12 young Brazilians I began surfing with, only two were still alive at the end of the season! However, I was awarded the privilege of wearing the Red Bandanna, which no non-Brazilian had previously worn!!!" Steve Youngblood (Matt Besser) -- The Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 43 "These Chee-tos taste like human toes!!" Mike O'Meara -- The Don and Mike Show Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 44 "We take 50 men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze their shit out of them!!" El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) -- The Three Amigos Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 45 "Pubic hair causes crime." Pecker's Dad (Mark Joy) -- Pecker Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 46 "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!!" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) -- Batman Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 47 "I'd like to speak incoherently. Well, double decker bus!! And fancy pants, anagrrga, and the bird says: 'TWEET TWEET TWEET!' And, uh, cable in my arm, apple cart in summary!" Adair (Matt Walsh) -- Upright Citizen's Brigade Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 48 "(sniff) He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is...this is ridiculous OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, what, I'll go. Shit! (turns car on and then off again and then begins to hit the passenger seat) GODDAMMIT!! (turns car on) AAAUUGH!! (turns car off) That's it!" Cameron (Alan Ruck) -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 49 "Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Foreman [Eric's Dad] (Kurtwood Smith) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 50 "There's no Earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-flowing? Is the Grizzly Reaper mowing?! YES!! The danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And there're certainly not showing ANY SIGN THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) -- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 51 "Go ahead, threaten me like you have the American people for so long, but it's not going to work this time. You're part of a dying breed Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) -- The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 52 "The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!!!" Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) -- Liar Liar Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 53 "I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie." Tom Welles (Nicholas Cage) -- 8mm Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 54 "This is what evil must taste like!!" Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) -- Friends Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 55 "OK, you have fifteen minutes to complete the ethics exam. Good luck and try to remember what I taught you: a, a, b, a, c." Bounty Hunter school instructor -- 'King of the Hill' Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 56 "My God! What are you...what're you insane? You can't go around hitting people with doors." Gina (Vanessa Marcil) -- Beverly Hills 90210 Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 57 "You gonna have to show up sooner or later! And when you do, you ass is kicked!! I'm gonna sell your clothes, leave you in Katmandu nekkid and bleeding with no money!! You little dirty bastard!" Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy) -- The Golden Child Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 58 "Let me understand this 'cuz I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?" Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) -- Goodfellas Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 59 "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Principal Snyder (Armin Shimerman) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 60 "Yeah, which is more than we ever got from those freeloadin' Canadians... ...Canada sucks." Peter (Seth MacFarlane) -- The Family Guy Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 61 "Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice." Yoda (Frank Oz) -- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 62 "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. HA HA HA! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass!! He's a sadist!!! HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD!!! Worship that? Never." Satan (Al Pacino) -- The Devil's Advocate Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 63 "You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin', and the thunder's rollin', and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big, old storm right square in the eye and says 'Give me your best shot pal. I can take it'". Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) -- Big Trouble in Little China Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 64 "On the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty." Oz (Seth Green) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 65 "The condom is the glass slipper of the 90s. You slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom that is, not the stranger." Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) -- Fight Club Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 66 "I'm no hero, I just like to hit people in the head." Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) -- The Simpsons Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 67 "I grab a dog, and I CHOKE HIM!! And I kick the shit out of him! And I, and I, all day long my foot up a dog's ass! Just BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! Up his ass!! That's my pleasure!" Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon) -- Friday Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 68 "Do you think that when girls have sleepovers sometimes they play games and giggle and then every once in a while they start to make out all together in a big naked heap?" Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) -- That 70's Show Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 69 "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOM STICK!!! It's a .12-guage, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!!" Ash (Bruce Campbell) -- Army of Darkness Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 70 "The record will reflect she kicks midgets." John Cage (Peter MacNichol) -- Ally McBeal Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 71 "There's an old Italian saying: 'You fuck up once, you lose two teeth.'" Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) -- The Sopranos Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 72 "There's nothin' to be scared of. You just gotta think about it, like, the first time you got laid. You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'" Tank Girl (Lori Petty) -- Tank Girl Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 73 "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now." Neal Page (Steve Martin) -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 74 "If anything in this life is certain... if history has taught us anything... is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) -- The Godfather Part II Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 75 "I love syphilis more than you." Spike (James Marsters) -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 76 "You know what else might be good for your self-esteem? Not being the village whore." Eric Foreman (Topher Grace) -- That 70s Show Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
Quote of the Week # 77 "You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker that should be on brain detail!" Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) -- Pulp Fiction
